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David Tyll - Concerns


David Tyll of Hillsborough, NC is my brother. Due to his actions over the past few months, I have a growing list of concerns that I feel unsettled about.

I created this topic as a place to vent and come to terms with the differences between who I thought he was and the person he turned out to be.




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Posted by: Michelle on 05-28-2012

I'm concerned about my brother's judgement, his hypocrisy, his marriage (including sexual frustration and how his wife controls everything), his children, and his overall well being.

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Posted by: Michelle on 05-29-2012

My brother's hypocrisy:
David claims that he tries to be like our father - who was the rock of our family - but in reality, is nothing like my dad. David is more like sand. His foundation crumbles because he does not do what it takes to make things solid, stable, better.
He's a teacher and understands the value of discipline, yet doesn't do what it takes to discipline his own children.
He claims he loves his wife, but does things behind her back because he'd rather be deceitful than form open lines of communication.
He claims he loves family, but believes in banning family members because he has this twisted sense of justice???

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Posted by: Michelle on 05-29-2012

My brother's marriage:
I don't believe my brother is really married. He and Jenny had a wedding eight years ago, but a wedding does not a marriage make. To me, a marriage is two people dedicating themselves to each other and God.
The lack of respect that they have for each other shows no dedication to each other or God what-so-ever.

David has stated several times in the past that he's sexually frustrated. Jenny does not fulfill his sexual needs and that leaves him having to fend for himself. He's reverted to watching porn (which he borrowed from our mother). He knows Jenny is highly against any type of pornography, so he's been sneaking it. He'd rather go behind her back than communicate with her about his needs.

Of course, he doesn't fulfill Jenny's needs either. She needs a strong man who can give her strength, stability, emotional support, etc. She needs someone she can depend on take care of things. Instead, she wears the pants in the family and emasculates David in front of his children/family/friends. I'm ashamed to say it, but my brother is a huge p**sy. He goes along with everything she says. I guess it's just easier than taking a stand, fighting for what's right, and being a real man.

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Posted by: Michelle on 05-29-2012

My brother's children:
I worry for my nieces and nephew. Jenny doesn't allow David to discipline them. She has degree in psychology and believes that corporal punishment is an unnecessary evil. To me, not spanking your children is a form of neglect. (BTW - Any reasonable human being knows the difference between beating and spanking.) If you don't do what it takes to make your children listen to you then the worst case scenario is death (You recognize a danger, you tell your child to do or don't do something, they argue, question, or just don't listen...).

It may be possible to raise a child with pure reason and no physical discipline. But David and Jenny are NOT successfully raising four children using that method.

David also implied (several months ago) that sometimes there is not enough to eat. He implied that he tries to make sure the kids have enough, but he sometimes goes hungry. This disturbed me very much.

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Posted by: Michelle on 05-30-2012

Going back to David's sexual frustration, I'm concerned about him and those around him.

He's a teacher at an elementary/middle school. He's in a position of power and it would not surprise me if some of his female students had crushes on him. You take young girls who are just beginning to explore their sexuality, and a male teacher who's not "getting any" and you could have a dangerous situation.
Until recently, I would have never considered this a possibility, but I now see that my brother has some serious issues.

I also noticed that at Christmas time, when he and his family was at our mom's, his little girl (just turned two) was extremely clingy to Jenny, so much so that if she put her down, she would cry and get very anxious. After much coaxing, Jenny got her to play with her toys, but if Jenny left the room, Daphne started crying. I also noticed that Daphne was constantly walking on her tip toes. I was always told that if a child does that it's a sign of insecurity, trauma, or anxiety. What does a two year old have to be insecure of anxious about? I thought that perhaps a family member or close friend maybe had done something to her, but now I have to consider the possibility of David. I'm not saying he did, but something I would have never considered in the past, I consider now.

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Posted by: Michelle on 05-30-2012

My brother's overall well being:

I asked David (several months ago) if he was happy and he could not give me a straight answer. I asked him if he thought maybe he was suffering from some depression and he said that he thought he might be.
My father died September 2010 and over a year later, David admitted that with life being so hectic, especially having four children, that he didn't feel like he even had time to mourn. He had just been "stuffing" his emotions deeper and pushing them aside.

He also said that it's like a circus over at his house and that even bedtime is a challenge. His kids don't listen very well and he often finds himself "arguing" with a seven year old. It appears to me that if his wife doesn't respect him, why would his children? He seemed frustrated and when I pointed out his kids needed a good spanking, he weakly defended Jenny's position saying that you can use reason and other methods to discipline your children, spanking is not ever necessary. Yeah, ok, how's that working out for ya?

The bottom line is that David seems to carry with him this overwhelming sadness. You can stand next to him and feel it. His unhappiness so strong and seems to flow out of him like waves. All I've ever wanted is for him to be happy, but I don't think that is possible in his current situation.


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Posted by: exhibits on 08-10-2012

E-mail from Michelle Willets to Dr. Ashton - Principal of St. Thomas More Catholic School in Chapel Hill, NC

RE: Coach David Tyll & concerns for the school

To: mashton@st-thomasmore.org; jfoster@st-thomasmore.org
Subject: David Tyll
Date: Thu, 7 Jun 2012 09:30:38 -0400

Dear Dr. Ashton,

I recently received a threatening letter from my brother David and my sister-in-law Jenny's attorney stating that if I contacted them or their employers, it will be perceived as harassment and they will be forced to seek legal action against me. I hadn't/don't plan on contacting them. I'm contacting you now to clarify my previous e-mail and express my concerns.

Please let me state clearly that the e-mail I sent to you was by no means intended to harass, it was intended to warn you that David and Jenny put their/our business into public view and risked damage to the school.

As a former employee of St. Thomas More and the Diocese of Raleigh, I feel protective of your school (and Blessed Sacrament School in Burlington). David and Jenny appear oblivious to the fact that my ties and responsibilities (moral and civic), go beyond just them. Generally, I put family first and have done everything possible to limit any problems for David and the school. Unfortunately, David and Jenny have insisted on closing every path to communication and reconciliation. (They appear to be trying to control/bully me and my family into silence/inaction to avoid any sort of consequence for their actions while ignoring the fact that I have other ties and responsibilities.)

My e-mails to the school have been based on my concern for the school.

I was previously vague to protect my brother. As he has blocked every path to address my concerns through him, I feel I need to address some of my concerns directly to you.

I have concerns about both David and the school.

(Please note that I will do everything possible to prevent/limit damage and it's possible that no damage occurs to David or the school. However, I have concerns that have to be addressed and David has eliminated every path where there is no possible damage.)

Issues I feel may directly affect the school:

David has watched pornography (some very hardcore).
David has suffered from sexual frustration (sometimes extreme).
David has had numerous marital issues.
David has shown very poor judgement.
A combination of the above (and other issues) has created a dilemma for me, his sister, about how to protect David's children and the students of STM.
David got a restraining order against his brother-in-law.
Scandal or parental concern based on one or more of the above.


David has watched pornography (some very hardcore):
David's personal pornography collection was mainly clips that focused strongly on the act of men using women (just F---ing, no romance, love, etc.). His wife made it clear she viewed pornography as akin to adultery, yet David chose to sneak porn into his house throughout his marriage. Not only that, he stored his porn at his mother's and occasionally borrowed from her porn collection.

David has suffered from sexual frustration (sometimes extreme):
Over the course of his marriage, David has on different occasions, expressed his sexual frustration due to his wife's neglect of his needs. He told me (after the birth of the twins) that Jenny had said that "nothing was going in or out until July" - indicating that there would be no sex for seven months (I have no idea if that is what actually happened, but he did not seem to take it as a joke).

David has had numerous marital issues:
As David's use of pornography and sexual frustration demonstrates, David and Jenny ignored each other's needs and ideals. Their relationship appears to be largely based on deceit, disregard, and lack of respect. Jenny emasculates David in front of his children, family, and friends while David appears to accept his role as simply bearing Jenny's "abuse".

David has shown very poor judgement:
In addition to the poor judgement outlined above, David has recently embraced attacking his own family (my husband and me). David has gone to great lengths to limit/destroy all efforts at communication and resolution. David has always had a very easy path to reconciliation with us (simple communication), but has consistently chosen to escalate and ignore the problems he created and maintained (David asked Joey what he would do if the "ban" was lifted and they came face to face. Joey told him he would give him a hug - that there was no problem with David; David responded that there was a "big problem"). He appears to be set on attacking and destroying his real love and support foundation to protect a fake image and avoid the consequences of his own actions. I had even "severed" ties with David and Jenny (and notified them that their fake image was safe) and the next day, they filed a restraining order against my husband; the only day David communicated with both of us was the day you received the e-mail from my husband (David claimed he was going to continue to communicate, but apparently was working to do the opposite).

A combination of the above (and other issues) has created a dilemma for me, his sister, about how to protect David's children and the students of STM:
At Christmas, I noticed some disturbing behavior from one of my nieces - I worry of possible abuse (physical, mental, or sexual). Due to David's issues as outlined above, I can't eliminate him as a possible source of abuse. I understand enough about male sexuality to fear the possibilities that exist when someone is under the "absolute" authority of a parent/teacher/coach who is sexually frustrated. I have no evidence of any wrongdoing by David or anyone else in this situation but based on David's severing communication, I have no way of directly addressing my concern. I am currently struggling on whether to contact Social Services based on this concern and others (not related to the school). It goes without saying, my feelings about potential dangers extend to students as well as family.

David got a restraining order against his brother-in-law:
As outlined above, rather than work toward resolution, David attacked all lines of communication. He created a situation where there can be no resolution. He took practically everything listed above and made it public in a courtroom (and in court filings). Case # 12 CV 000755 - Orange County District Court

Scandal or parental concern based on one or more of the above:
Scandal and parental concern would be the natural result of any one of the above items. Some things like David getting porn from his mother or possibly being a danger could spread rapidly though the community. Even knowing a teacher got a restraining order (against a family member) could be a source of extreme concern for many parents. Issues like David's judgement may not be major, but coupled with use of porn or sexual frustration, and parents may be more concerned.

I want to believe that David would never be a danger to his children or his students, but he is human and he has recently done numerous things that I would never have thought possible. I believe any man in a similar situation could be a danger, David less so than most (however, in my opinion, the same traits that make David less "dangerous" in a similar situation have allowed this situation to grow much worse than the average man would have allowed).



Sincerely,
--Michelle Willets


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Posted by: iDrafted on 09-11-2012

An e-mail address has been created for individuals with concerns like those listed here.

Concerned1@idrafted.com
Password: concern412

*this address is provided to allow open communication -- Reports of spam, harassment or other hi-jacking of this address will result in a password change.

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Posted by: Anonymous on 09-13-2012

Ms. Willets has confirmed that DSS has not contacted her regarding her complaint of potential child abuse to Dr. Ashton.

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Posted by: Anonymous on 12-27-2012

lol.

Orange County must be full of inbred idiots!!!

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Posted by: Anonymous on 10-15-2015

David Tyll is listed as the Athletic Director & PE Teacher at St. Thomas More Catholic School in Chapel Hill, NC.

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Posted by: hgh reviews on 01-11-2013

Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on. Any recommendations?

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